Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, June 23, 2007
more...taiwan...
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
hualien
Our hostel in Hualien (Famosa) and the lady owner, who also happens to be Greg's fiancee. She was pretty pleasant though i didn't have much to chat to her about. my bad. however, i must add, the hostel is nice and clean enough. though i didn't sleep well on both nights (1st night, i had a 90% flat pillow. 2nd night, i was sick and the toilet bowl was my best friend. further, the mosquitoes were attacking my face. think they like the smell of bile?)
Saturday, April 07, 2007
rainy day.
where did the gloominess come from? is it the aquarius in me, awakening?
juria said: yes, she has quite bad mood swing.
and i think: yes, she is quite right.
am i the only one who feels this way? i feel so bored and lonely, i need some company. i want to be alone but i am restless. i do not want to speak. i want to go out. i do want to be alone. but i don't want to do the asking. i always do the asking. maybe i should not try to maintain friendships. i should just get a dog.
everyone says i look fierce. unfriendly. proud. sad. but i want to look cheery. but i cannot smile all the time. no one ever tells me i look happy. sad. fierce. sad. fierce. slowly i am becoming it.
sometimes it seems so good to be an actor, for you can lose yourself in a character and you are that character. u can adopt a different persona, and forget, for that moment, who you are. it would be interesting to be someone else for a period of time. the downside is: the bloody camera. its not i am not content with my life. for i am considered lucky. a roof over my head. food for my hunger. water for my thirst. i am simply feeling gloomy.
hair apparent
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
life
first, i finally know how mahjong works! and just 2 hours or so into it, i am hooked. but i will stay loyal to my mahjong kakis (2 singaporeans, 1 malaysian and 1 attached singaporean who is ostracised even by malaysians) because we play at the same speed - the slowest speed. precisely because we are all moving at the same rate (except my buddy, coz she can play and talk at the SAME time!) we can have fun together. hopefully at the age of 60, we are still playing mahjong together (which definitely can keep us from developing dementia) and hopefully, not at the same speed.
second, i learnt that if/when you dream of shit, please, touch it. because if u were to touch shit in your dream, you are bound to come into a windfall, whether big or small. therefore, if ever you dream about me and there is shit present, please, force "me" to touch it, but make sure i do not eat it. but please note, if u ever dream about my buddy and some shit, please make her eat it, so that she can be lucky and wealthy from WITHIN.
third, never judge a book by its cover. however fierce, unfriendly, different a person looks, it is not an accurate representation of how he or she really is. difficult as it may be to adopt such an outlook in reality, this really rings true in many people i have met. some appear sweet and demure on the outside but with time, you can see how sharp the hidden fangs are. on the contrary, there are some people with fierce expressions (not only talking about myself can?) or who smiles rarely but can actually be the sweetest person around. its just like someone who's very thin but is in truth a couch potato and chicken wings-and-carbo junkie. its just like you never know how juicy an apple is until you actually bite into it.
p.s. is it just me or the office toilets smells better after the shit exploded. mayb the smell was due to the congested shit in the first place.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
memories embodies in letters
these memories are presented in a mountain of letters and little gifts, which i have finally dug out from the other junk and dumped into 2 paper boxes. it is impossible to sort them out, whether by size, by year, by the writer as it is just too tedious to do so. while trying to sort them (a futile attempt), i opened some up, gingerly, as some of the paper are more than 10 years old (yes, i am THAT OLD can?). most of it makes me smile, some embarrasses me and some totally confuses me (because i totally cannot recall what the writer was talking about). here are the top nominees for writers of the year:
most creative card/letter maker: my buddy.
she uses cutes letter paper/envelopes, endorses them with stickers and uses different creative materials. no doubt a hint of the fanshionista she is now.
most thoughtful/sweet/neat cards: lunz
she enjoys writing and giving cards (erm..btw, where are the xmas cards which u claimed u prepared for me for the past decade?) and you can tell that much thought is put into the choosing of these cards as they embody hidden meanings and sweet gestures
most nonsense, crappy and "i duno why u are writing this letter for" writer: ms wang huijun.
the few letters i opened from u, u said something like "i duno what to write but i must write". i am desperately trying to recall if i ever forced u to write to me. hmmm..i am sure i was as confused the first time i opened the letter. however, one redeeming card speaks of how much u treasure our friendship. i can't recall if i returned the sentiments, but definitely the card touches me everytime i read it.
sweetest/kindest/"most gifts attached to a letter" letter: william
every letter is an encouragement, and there is a gift, however big or small (bday gifts, paper cranes, bookmarks, limited edition phonecards, dreamcatcher from taiwan etc) attached with almost every letter.
most mysterious letter: chelsea ong
u mention some things which i am not supposed to tell anyone. but let me tell u now, u shouldn't have worried. i have no idea what you were talking about. wahahahaha!!!
person of the year (for starting the trend of writing leters): kim.
enough said right? the first 30 or so letters were writen by you! and we all copied how u folded the letters. not bad. you "dai4 ling3 shi2 shang4 cao2 liu2"
least letter writer of the year but has lots of juicy tidbits in each letter: julia.
u ARE the gossip queen. i shall keep your secrets, just in case i become FATTER. zip.
after reading just 1/5 of the pile, i feel like the most loved person in the world. i must say, these letters are definitely keepers.
Friday, February 02, 2007
where is the me in the sentences? nothing is happening man. nothing is happening in my life. the only thing which is moving is time and it is moving so fast, i am just letting it all pass me by. i am so boring, that all my new year clothes which i bought are either blue or black. that must be the self-expression of my subconscious being. i am such a boring character that i can actually talk about how boring i really am for such a long paragraph. impressed?
is it just me or are there more and more fakes in this world? now, even fishes you consume are fake! my dad was telling me about fake cod fish which they sell in the market. apparently it looks similar to and tastes like cod fish, and the fishmongers are selling it as cod fishes, thus cheatng unsuspecting housewives. not only are fishes fake, there are also fake "fa-cai" and fake soy sauce, which may be bad for health when consumed. i can understand fake branded goods, as they are a quick way to capitalise on the luxury goods market by tapping on poorer consumers' pockets. ok that i can accept, since you don't really harm anyone (not the people who purchase, coz they do it wilingly and not the luxury brands also, since they are filthy rich, no much harm done). what i don't get is to cheat unsuspecting consumers to purchase food items which may result in deaths? is this really such an uncaring world?
more and more people seem to be leaving. ok la, its just 2. d.soon is leaving for australia, and julia is now based in KL (mayb she'll mary a datuk? but then, can't imagne her dressing elegantly and smiling n waving regally at the reporters). i wish i am brave enough to uproot myself to a foreign country. i guess the desire is not strong enough. if it is, i won't be swayed by little fears. i am constantly asking myself what is it that i want to do in life. and always i have no definite answers. i am only sure of one thing. i dislike what i am doing right now. actually, i am pretty interested in the service industry, in hospitality and tourism industry. i would like to find a job in a hotel, however low it may be. but i doubt they will hire me, as i do not have any qualifications nor experience in this field (if they don't hire me, how will i ever have the experience?). have i made a wrong choice 3 years ago?
Thursday, February 01, 2007
relationships
this question can be taken in 2 different meanings.
first, do friends still exist after you found love?
second, friendship between a female and a male. is it truly possible?
possibly due to the limited scope of my informal survey, but it seems to me that importance of friendships tend to diminish on the appearance of the significant other. (of course that is not to say it applies to everyone, just a significant portion of the population). Take a look around you, is what i am saying right now a stretch of the truth? mak a rough comparison. what is the ratio of the number of weekends you meet a certain friend before and after he/she gets attached? ("attached" is a fitting word by the way.it applies figuratively and literally.)
further, ponder over this. part the fog of love clouding your mind and ask yourself. when you are/were attached, do you feel loved, but friendless? does meeting up with your friends seem like a reunion or a regular gathering?
Sunday, January 21, 2007
as age catches up with me, i feel that i feel less and less enthusiastic about birthdays. not only is it a testament of my ever speedy advancement into old age (and wrinkles, hair loss n many more exciting natural occurences coming up) but it is getting increasingly boring. birthdays used to make me feel special..yet somehow, this year, i am not looking forward to it and actually see it as just another day. however, all thanks to enthusiastic friends, it turned out to be...just perfect.
at the stroke of midnight, we finally got the candle lighted (i lighted it myself lo. 3 silly girls can't light one candle.) so 4 silly girls and 1 suspicious frog kneeled around a slice of strawberry and cream cake and sang happy birthday song. dear chel julia and kim, thanks for being the first to celebrate my EIGHTEEN birthday. i am sorry i spoilt your surprise. haha! but it was pretty hilarious.
the second and third surprises came...expected. again, i don't mean to spoil the carefully planned surprise meant for me. cliche but true, i appreciate it, because much effort is put into it. but more importantly, its the thought that counts. having hilarious moments are added bonus (like men who actually got lost and the umbrella which...opens the other way) particularly the most delicious cake i have ever tasted. this is the first time anyone has baked just for me. u know i never show emotions..especially the mushy ones..so, a big muacks to you! (ps, i thnk the band was really good. and no, i am not bias)
lastly to lunzi who spent my post-birthday day with me. i have never forced myself to wake up just to have breakfast. but i do dream of having breakfast in a place surrounded by forest greens, a little chill in the air and good company. (without lao se gui..) lets do it in 5 years ok.
it was a EIGHTEENTH birthday well spent and far exceeded my expectations. surprisingly certain people remember my birthday..like some new friends i made in office, some old acquaintances i met in uni and lao peng you from JC and sc school. unfortunately, it is back to reality (=tuas).
Monday, November 13, 2006
the girl who has nothing.
she was never lucky, she was never fortunate, she has never have a single good day in her life.
as a child, she was sent to live with distant relatives, her granduncle and his family.
as a child, she watched her mother get increasingly addicted to drugs, getting in and out of prison.
as a child, she almost never get to meet her grandmother, for she has abandoned her family long before she was born.
as a child, her harsh grandfather never cared.
at the age of 14, she ran away. away from a home which is not really hers, into the harsh reality of life, all alone. she strived and she struggled to make a living to keep herself alive. to keep a brother, who is at least 10 years her junior, alive.
finally in her late 20s, she gave in to depression. she caved in from the pressure of the need to be independent, the lack of family, the unfortunate events in her life. it was only 3 years later, when she battled depression successfully. now she leads a lonely but simple life. she lives in a rented flat, she earns her living as a food stall assistant and occasionally visits her brother. all her life, she has almost nothing. she has no family, she has no crutch, she has no support and she has no help. she is the poorest girl i know.
every other day, i lament the fact that i have no life, no bf, i do not have enough to spend, that my parents treat my brother better, that i hate studying, that i hate working. yet next to the girl who has nothing, i am the girl who has everything.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
speaking of korean drama, i just finished watching "Princess Hours" and i am so amazed that i actually have so much tears to shed! i wonder, if kim also cried as much. (i also made her obsessed with it! haha) it is amazing how we can get so affected by the plot (which is, by the way, pretty unrealistic and heartbreaking to actually occur in real life). it also leads to another question. do all girls secretly wish to be princesses? do girls secretly want a "ke gu min xin" romance and which will ultimately lead them to a happily ever after? so is it better to have a great romantic love than a dull yet stable one? which do you prefer? and to others, is it better to be single forever than to maintain a relationship which is mundane and probably mostly one-sided? then how do you really know that the special someone which you are very sure exists, really exists? scary thoughts, these. maybe it is beter to fantasize about being the princess in the drama.
recently, it seems that everyone is going away. chel has left, julia is leaving, and so am i (leaving society and becoming a recluse buried in work). it seems that the platoon size is ever diminishing. from 18 to 16..and to about 11 after sec school and now...less than 10. since this trend takes place over a little less than a decade, it is pretty scary to think how many will be left in another decade? we are being taken over by work, by boyfriends, by new friends, by new lives. how many will actually attend our 10th anniversary come next year?
the incessant coughing is killing me.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
they just say the darnest thing
Sometimes you hate them
for no matter how spacious the pathway, you will sure get an elbow or two in the gut
yet sometimes they truly crack you up and puzzles you to no end
simply with the ridiculous and illogical comments they make.
Today i went shopping at Tiong Bahru market with my mom and we were sucked into a shop by this extremely vivacious auntie. she practically physically forced me into a red top which frankly, makes me feel like minnie mouse. somehow she managed to hypnotize me to purchase that top! thankfully, SOME common sense prevailed and i decided on the navy blue version (which she insists, is black) instead and managed to look pretty decent. (saw a similar top at bysi!)
she was telling my mom how pretty i am (not flattered at all, since its standard procedure to compliment each other's offsprings) while my mom was saying with how unfriendly i usually am and how i dislike to smile (again, it is part of the protocal to be humble). the auntie suddenly countered with a comment which makes me go ???. she said: "you3 yi4 dian3 sha1 qi4 shi4 hao3 de" ??? i have sha qi? and how is that good? this truly baffles me as my mom smiled in return.
so do i really exude sha qi?
lets move on to auntie no.2 who sells shoes. i was bio-ing a orangey red pair of heels which unfortunately was the last pair and too big for me and she cannot stop recommending me other pairs of flats which are...frankly speaking, shinning at me. yes, shinning becuase of the sequins. when i kept saying no, her expression kinda turned sour and mumbled in mandarin "you so tall already still wear heels..." and once again i went ??? me? so tall??? wahahaha what a joke.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
this is going to take some time to read...
yesterday marks the LAST day of work on the "eat shit" client.
i must say, i am RELIEVED and sooo glad that i can finally:
1. have sufficient sleep (latest i have worked till is 2am. meaning worked at least minimum of 14 hours a day)
2. not have to suffer hunger (lunch usually 1plus and dinner after 8! suffer hunger twice a day)
3. not have to take shit from people who are obviously stuck up and obnoxious (for no reason. not as if they're the PM or high esteemed characters)
4. be afraid of visiting a toilet in the building which is rumoured to be haunted (i swear, the auto hand dryer really started by itself. i was nowhere near it!)
5. be delegated work which obviously, is not mine and usually shit jobs.
6. cut my nails, do mask, shop peacefully and basically, spend time with myself and with friends.
however, i am also kind of regretful that the team is disbanded (and hopefully won't come together again because it means that we are back doing the shit job) because from the 5 weeks i spent with them, i actually got to know them better and learn their quirks and shared complains together. the 3 seniors who have taught me alot, whether is it GAM, or how to deal with superiors and in their own way, showed their concern towards us. the A2s whom we got to know better and especially that i have gotten close to haidi who is actually very tan chi! how can i survive ont he next job without her? nobody to accompany me to the toilets, nobody to share grumbles and gossips with, nobody to help me with my work and nobody to discuss what to eat for lunch! however, all good(and some bad...) things must come to an end and i look forward to the next engagement and making new friends and colleagues.
Thoughts and feels.
1. Is this the right job for me?
2. Am i too unmotivated?
3. Am i too sheltered such that i cannot take hardships?
These questions kept on floating in and out of my thoughts constantly while i am on the job. initially, the late nights and tough clients really made me resentful, and entirely frustrated that i am stuck in this line. I kept feeling like this is not the right occupation for me. I am not strong in my accounting knowledge, i get bothered by rude clients too easily and i dislike having insufficient sleep daily. I have mentioned that the latest i end work is 2am in the morning, but in actual fact, the latest my seniors and supervisor worked till is 11am in the morning. Yes, that will be 26 hours of work straight. that knowledge itself really rendered me speechless. i question myself: what is their motivation? it is not as if they have a cut of the profits. further, how is it that they can take such hardship just to churn out a report for the boss who decides that he needs it at the eleventh hour, receives pay that does not compensate for their effort and yet maintain their optimism and passion for the job? why is it that i cannot comprehend their dedication? am i too sheltered by my parents such that such "hardship" , such sacrifice (of personal time and of resting time) seems entirely ridiculous? the bottomline is that i lack the passion for this occupation (or for accounting in ANY form) and together with the fact that i have never endured such long hours of working non stop workes together to make me extremely resentful of my present job. in addition to this, i cannot help but feel underpaid and under compensated for my efforts (yes, 3 legged stool theory and the motivation theory.). Hence, i am extremely unsatisfied with my job and the thought of leaving just kept on haunting me. shall i leave? if i do, i have no idea what interests me and thus, no notion of what type of job i can apply for.
however, after speaking to a senior, (who is also leaving!), i am faltering in my stance of leaving. she tells me that if i keep feeling dissatisfied about my present position and keep entertaining thoughts of leaving, i can never feel at ease with my job. if i don't stop comparing with others (in terms of working hours, pay and perks of the job), i will always feel restless and resentful of whatever i do. this really gave me second thoughts about leaving. yes, the present job really does not have much to offer in terms of immediate compensation. however, what it gives is exposure, to how different industries and companies works. particularly, the portfolio which i am "allocated" to, i must admit i do have a different portfolio from others and i will get to see more. further, since i do not know what is it that i want in life (except to marry lee hom and just sit back relax and see the $$ rolling in), waiting at least a year before i leave will open up my eyes to the real world and hopefully, by then i have a notion of what is it i wanna be in life.
taxi drivers
once we end work after 8pm, we get reimbursement for the taxi ride home. obviously, given the hours i work till, i took cab home virtually everyday. as such, i have lots of opportunities to chat with these taxi drivers, one of whom in particular, leave an impression. he is a semi-retired man who continues driving because he cannot sit still at home. once he earns enough to cover his costs, he packs up and goes home to accompany his wife for high tea sessions, mahjong or goes clubbing with his daughters (zouk le!). he is the type of man i wanna become. or rather, i would love to be in the same situation as him in about 35 years. he seems satisfied about his life and enjoys each day with no regrets. i wonder, if i can be like him? happy go lucky, has a close knitted family and has a cheeful outlook.
of course, another reason he left an impression on me is that he he says i look like i am born in '87 or '86. wahahahahahahaha...that means i look 18! of course, he made my day! but after he was informed that i'm 22 and single, he says "how come! faster find one or else too late!" and in that one-liner, he has just said out what i FEELS deep in my bone! HOW COME?!?! i also duno! the next worse thing about not having a bf is that there isn't even anyone in the "potential" league nor is there anyone in the "eligible" league. so girls, is it time to activate our membership with the SDU yet? or shall i tattoo my forehead with "single and available" tag?
shen arh...jiu jiu wo (men) ba.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
tell me why
everybody wants a part of it
it is never easy to allocate it such that everyone is satisfied
you can never have enough of it
it can cause disappointment, impatience and stress,
yet when given to the right people, it can make one's day, even a perfect stranger.
it is valuable whether you are someone important or a small fry in the world.
time, the most scarce resource in the world.
why why why...why is it that when you have alot of time with nothing on your hands, you will end up wasting that time waiting for somehting to do. yet when you have alot on your plate, you find that you dont have enough time. time to complete your work. time to visit the toilet, enough time to rest and relax, and time for family and friends. even if you have some time, who do you allocate it to? it seems that when someone asks you out, every other friend wants to meet on the same time slot too. it seems that when you have alot of work coming your way, someone else will ask you for help. it seems that there is no way out. and it irritates me to no end!
there are actually people who exists in ths world who are utterly beyond belief! unreasonableness, rudeness, people who look down on you when they are worth shit, people who insists on getting their way and refuses to compromise. how can a complete stranger push the blame on you and shouts at you when in the situation, you are of superiority status, and chose to be humble and courteous only to be met by such ridiculous attitudes? why do we choose to keep quiet and tolerate such nonsense? why do i lack the guts to put things right? why is the world unfair? all questions no answers.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
about......nohting in particular
been busy with work, more or less. further, not supposed to blog about my job, coz of confidentiality issues. or else it will implicate my integruty according to some accountants act or something...don't really recall the details of what i've learnt in the 3 years in ntu. hmmm...thats bad ain't it? thought i'm supposed to acquire life skills.
somehow feels very lazy to blog also. feels no enthusiasm towards anything le. though i am dying to shop and anyhow spend money (my dad says i am a waster. i always waste stuff...and...i AGREE though i try my best not to. maybe i didnt try hard enough. hai...like how i shouldn't use photocopying machine, coz i always end up with WRONG print jobs!) on many many clothes and SHOES...and i really wanna go bangkok this year. who can go with ME!?!?! hai...deep inside, i know it won't be realised. i should go out n make more friends. not that i have time. every sat is the day to meet up with friends, and so must rotate...also somehow chel left n it feels funny. like missing something like that. then sundays are family days. whether we go out or juz nua at home doing things on our own. i really think it is important to just be togther at home or something. my parents are aging and i am really worried. heart attacks, diabetes, and that C word. nowadays i hate it whenever my dad say "char kway teow".the guilt after i quarrel/be rude to them is also muchmuch worse than before. its not that i am paranoid, but dear friends, pls try to watch out for your parents too! especially those who have hit 50..
btw, this is a sunday afternoon and i am bloody working at home. ok la, not very difficult, not vry stressed...just very tedious!!! also, my laptop can't be used until i find an anti-virus....can some kind soul lend me if u have? real desperate. or else all the photos i have of u will be lost forever!
Friday, August 04, 2006
020806
And you may ask, where’s my senior? He disappear at lunch time everyday. He knows I have no-one to lunch with but he didn’t invite me to join him. Perhaps he’s meeting gf or close frens. However I can’t help but feel that he didn’t make the effort to be friends because we’re from different departments and after these 2 weeks, we may never work together again. Though I wouldn’t mind transferring to his department (note: not for him, but for my own good) but that is provided I want to pursue a career in that aspect. Speaking of career, I seriously doubt I will stay on in my current job forever. Probably 3 years? Though it is relatively stable (yearly promotion and pay rise of at least 20%), you need to put in long hours and probably develop fine lines and eye bags within 6 months. For me, I am just not the driven and career-minded kind of girl. I am unwilling to sacrifice sleep time and play time for career advancement. Which makes me wonder, what type of occupation will suit me? I am happy with a salary which is sufficient to survive and shop (I don’t need to earn 5000 a month, 3000 is good enough!) and I dislike sitting at a desk doing the same things all over again. I certainly won’t mind in the service sector but I am not very good with honeyed words. Maybe I should be a talk show host since I love to talk and talk. However I am quite ignorant and have poor general knowledge, not pretty nor slim enough (tv puts 10 pounds on you!) and definitely not able to memorise scripts! ( Think I am a Pentium II model. Slow and limited memory). After all this nonsense you may ask, what is Lirong’s point in today’s post? The answer is…I am very bored at work and have nothing to do so I am typing all this shit in MS words before transferring to blogger. Thank you.
On Friday, the 3rd team member finally appeared! And she is a normal and decent human being! We can actually chat (abit la..) and she invited me to lunch with her and her kakis in GFS! Though I was quiet most of the time, it was pretty enjoyable listening to their gossips (though I duno who they were talking about) and them laughing at each other. We also gossiped abit about Senior and I realized, its not ME! Apparently I’m not the only one who is not able to solicit responses from him! And yes, he was condemned for leaving me to lunch alone.
Driving Lesson
As usual, I dread going for driving lessons after work. Not only am I brain dead, my eyes are going blind and I have no energy to twist my body here and there in order to get a better view of whatever bend and curb I am negotiating. However, contrary to my expectation, the lesson was enjoyable today! It’s the first time I encounter this instructor and the first impression he gave was stern! Yet he was actually pretty jovial and entertaining. Most importantly, he was good at his job. The tips he gave me were practical and to the point such that I am now able to do the “directional change” perfectly! I hope I will attend his lesson again! And the Most important lesson learnt today: how to start the car engine.
A thought here…Would you pay for your girlfriend’s living expenses and/or credit card bills?
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Convocation 2006




Panel of friends and family.
do we look like we're in love? haha! but veryvery touched that lunz came all the way frm civilisation to ntu and specially taking leave to take pictures with me! and of course she gave me a hugh bouquet of VERY colourful flowers! not to forget, she's the unofficial but voluntary and very responsible photographer of the day..my dad was spot on when he said that you are my "si dang" who has stuck with me all these years..
my jie-meis in school! and now, my jie-meis in the audit industry..(jaze disappeared half way as usual..) and soon, my jie-meis in plastic surgery (to suck out eye bags)

hall fivers! the lao zar bors and one CJ (or is it CK?) its difficult to get a perfect picture where everyone is awake and looking at the right camera (there were more than 5..)



