if i have made the right choice, then why do i find myself wondering if i have made the right choice? confusing? but its as simple as it gets. many times i find myself wondering...am i really cut out to be an accountant? i have much difficulty understanding the underlying principles of accounting, can't seem to THINK like an accountant, don't seem to get the logic, and worst of all, just don't get bonds and securities..i always wonder...will i be better off taking engineering? afterall, my strength lies in mathematics (though i am mediocre by most standards..damn..). the feelings are further intensified when i attempt my readings and managed not to get whatever the chim text is trying to tell me. furthermore, attending lessons lowers my morale inch by inch..and not to mention doing projects with the zhai ple..i am SOOO NOT motivated to do my stuff! can't help thinking back on JC days where despite not being able to solve a complicated math problem, i will stick to it and work it till i can get it right. i wonder where my drive has gone to. where has the thirst for knowledge gone to? actually come to think fo it, it has not gone anywhere. coz i simply do not have a thirst for knowledge. things are not helped by the fact that i am a chao slacker, lazy ass and miss dependent. i also can't do any things at the same time. worst of all, all the projects just come TOGETHER.
i have a 4 day week and wed is my free day. everyone says its damn slack but picture a typical week for me. mon: 3 hours lesson. at least another 2 hours proj. tues: 4 hours lesson 1030 - 230. AA206 proj reading. AA205 proj discussion. wed: free day! 2 hours BM321 proj discussion. typeout of AA205 proj proposal. thurs: 2 hours of lesson. god-knows-how-long hours of AA206 proj discussion, coz i am doing proj with 3 other gods. STRESS. fri: 6 hours of lesson, in between, got to meet for proj again.
on top of all these FIXED "engagements" , i have to do the normal readings and tutorials(which i haven't been touching!) and research for each proj, studying of financial statements and analysts reports, coz i CANNOT go for proj discussion with no brains and no information..and if i am unlucky, got to present tutorial qn..i have also been neglecting my FYP COMPLETELY, as i can't find the time! feel so guilty towards my fellow fyp mates, as i am causing the group to lag behind. though they obviously have the same projects as i do, somehow i can't seem to take out any time! alot ple have been asking me "why u look so stressed recently?"
oh man...i need a fairy godmother..
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